My Sweet Bug,

Not a single day has passed in these nearly five years that I haven’t missed you.

Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. Sometimes I still catch myself wanting to call you, tell you something funny, or wait for you to walk through the door like you always did. I still miss your hugs more than words can explain.

You were our world, Maci.

I still see your beautiful face so clearly — your messy buns, your hoodies, your selfies, your gorgeous smile, those eyes that could say everything without words. You could look beautiful in absolutely anything, whether it was sweats or a shimmering gown. But what made you truly unforgettable was your heart.

You loved hard.
You protected people.
You stood up for the underdogs.
You laughed loud.
You made ordinary days feel special.

You had the softest heart for animals. Every stray, every pet, every creature needing comfort somehow found its way to you. That tenderness was just part of who you were.

And goodness, the music. Every kind imaginable playing somewhere around you all the time.

I smile thinking about all the little things that made you you — coffee, late nights cooking full gourmet meals, lobster dipped in brown butter, milk straight out of the jug, rainbow sprinkles, eating icing straight from the "tub". Those little things feel precious now because they belonged to you.

One of my sweetest memories will always be you crawling into bed beside me, even through high school, and Papa Bear ending up on the couch. I would give anything to hear you say “Mimi” one more time.

The daycare still holds pieces of you. I can still picture you and Hailey there together, just girls growing up side by side. It breaks my heart that you never got to meet her Ella and Hope. You would have loved those babies so much.

So much life has happened since you left us. Your momma... your brothers.... I know you're watching and are proud of the lives they are making.

Babies have been born. You'd be head over heels for Parker, Halli, Walker and your baby brother's son who will join us soon. Our family has grown. There are new little faces here that should know you personally instead of only through stories and pictures. And every beautiful moment still carries that "worldly" sadness that you should be standing in the middle of it with us.

I know you know how loved you still are.

I know you see us say your name often.
I know you know we still talk about you constantly.
I know you know that not one single person has forgotten you.

And I know you were greeted in Heaven by the people who loved you before we had to let you go. I picture ZsaZsa wrapping you up in her arms, and later Emma joining you there too.

Until we meet again, my beautiful girl, I will keep carrying you with me in every single part of my life.

Forever your Mimi.